Are You The Toxic Person That Everyone’s Trying To Avoid? 10 Signs You’re Toxic To Others
You often hear the word “TOXIC” being thrown around these days.
It’s often associated with someone as well.
“My parents are toxic”
“My teacher is toxic”
“My friends are toxic”
It’s easy enough to identify who’s toxic in your life. But have you ever stopped to reconsider that you might be a toxic person in someone else’s life?
What Does Being Toxic Mean?
By its very essence, something that is toxic is harmful to a person once exposed. There are varying levels of toxicity as well. Some are instantly lethal, while others might be harmful over time.
The definition doesn’t change much, actually.
A toxic person is someone who tries to cause harm to others through actions and words. These people often leave other people worse off than before they interacted.
Just like toxic chemicals, the impact of a toxic person is sometimes immediately felt and sometimes it builds up slowly over time with repeated exposure.
With that said, how can you tell if you are the toxic person in someone else’s life?
#1 People feel the worst about themselves after having spent time with you
This one’s not easy to tell, but it will cover the remaining points that follow.
Whenever a person is left feeling unappreciated, unloved, or even unworthy of having spent time around you, there’s a good chance that you might’ve been toxic towards them.
But then again, you don’t really know what’s going on inside their head, so you rely on spotting someone else’s body language when they’re around you.
If their body language goes from positive to being closed off and negative, then they’re feeling rotten. If they seem embarrassed or ashamed by what you said or did, you may have inflicted some harm on them.
#2 People avoid you or even disappear from your life for good
The clearest sign that you’re toxic to a person is when they avoid coming in contact with you.
- Do friends come up with excuses or other plans for why they can’t talk or meet up with you?
- Do people never initiate contact with you?
- Do you feel like people exit your life not long after they entered it?
- Do your workmates or classmates try to avoid you in social events?
- Do people try to avoid conversations with you, or even cut conversations short with you?
When people enjoy the company of others, they want to spend a long time with them. It’s only natural for people to leave that company when it’s no longer pleasant for them.
#3 You think you’re more superior than others
You’re more critical and you find that you’re more superior than other people around you. You regularly criticize other people for their faults.
You use this shame as a form of weapon to make others feel bad while making yourself feel better.
You belittle the choices that other people make and make fun of their accomplishments. You want to make them believe that you’re the better person.
#4 You’re controlling and emotionally manipulative
You try to make other people your pawns and make them play the game that you want.
You desire to have them do as you wish, which ties in with your superiority complex as mentioned in the point above.
You want to boss people around and you resort to using any form of emotional manipulation (blackmail) so you get your own way.
You’re not also subtle about this as well. You’re very blunt about what you want to the point that it shocks other people.
#5 Apologizing is not your forte
You never apologize for anything because SORRY is not a word in your vocabulary.
You think you know what’s best, so it doesn’t make sense that you’re wrong in whatever it is you’re doing. Even when it’s completely obvious that you’re in the wrong, you’ll find a way to make others think that you’re not wrong.
Instead, you try to come up with excuses for why something happened the way it did.
This brings me to my next point…
#6 You blame others for your mistakes
Because you think you do no wrong, you shift the blame to others when something happens that doesn’t go according to your plan in life.
In your eyes, you’re not responsible for any wrongdoing but rather it’s a result of the mistakes made by other people.
You think that life is unfair and working against you, and this makes you think that other people are coming into your life to sabotage you.
Doing this enough times will have you finding a designated person as your whipping boy or girl, so you already have someone else in mind when something goes wrong.
#7 You take advantage of other people’s kindness
The world is filled with kind people, but you make it a point to take advantage of their kindness for your own personal gains.
You take every help you get without offering something in return. You even go as far as not appreciating people for the help you receive from them.
In your world, everyone gives to you and you just take from them. You’re not capable of reciprocating this kindness.
When people find out that you’re doing this, they do point #2 (they disappear from your life for good).
#8 You find joy in humiliating people in front of a crowd
You try to make fun of someone in order to make others laugh or you want them to like you more.
You try to humiliate people in front of others because it makes you superior than them (point #3).
Now, there’s difference between friendly banter and putting someone else down. When it becomes more personal, then it becomes toxic.
This ties in with point #1 (other people feel worse about having spent time with you) because you are a negative force in their lives.
#9 You hold a grudge. Consistently.
When someone does something that upsets you, you’re not going to let them off the hook even when they apologize.
You’ll hold their wrongdoing over their head for the many years to come as long as they associate with you. You want to make it clear that everything is neither forgiven nor forgotten.
It doesn’t even matter how close you are to that person as well.
At some point, you’ll be the one to avoid their invitation just in principle.
#10 Everything’s personal
Disagreements are normal between friends, family, and even workmates. But you take things to a whole new level because you make things personal even when it’s not supposed to be.
When disagreements arise, you’re not afraid to attack your opponents personally by attacking their character, bringing up past mistakes, and even ridiculing them.
This ties in with points #4, #7, and #8. When everything’s said and done, you still blame them for making you behave the way you did.
Here’s a short video of The List talking about being toxic:
Whether or not these signs resonate with you or not, the final question to ask is this:
Are you a consistently negative presence in other people’s life, but you still manage to convince them to keep you?
Are you even aware that you’re hurting people with your words and actions but you’re not capable of apologizing?
Your toxicity within relationships is a reflection of the toxicity within yourself. You’re not really having an issue with how you relate to other people, but it’s actually you having an issue with yourself. You just don’t want to acknowledge it.
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